The Worst Thing Ever Written II: Electric Boogaloo
by Bullshiter
Summary: The sequel to the highly offensive Worst Thing Ever Written is FINALLY HERE! ALL REJOICE!


**The Holy Fanfiction 2: Electric Boogaloo**

Chapter 1:

 **One year after The Holy Fanfiction…**

"QWERTY!" Piglet screamed as he finally orgasmed.

"Cut!" Bob, the sentient prison shank yelled as he floated onto set.

"Aaaaahh…" Thomas The Dank Engine whined as he drove out from underneath Piglet. "It felt so good in my gas pipe. Why can't we do more, Bob?"

"No complaints." Bob said flatly. "Meeting. Now." Piglet and Thomas submitted and walked to the meeting room. They found all of the children show characters murmuring among themselves, some still covered in love nectar. Steve from Blues Clues, Barney the Dinosaur, Daryl Dickson, Gary The Snail, The Yellow Tellatubee _,_ Dora The Explorer, Tommy from Rugrats, Bugz Bunny, Timmy Turner, and Snoop Dawg were all there; the most beloved Children Show characters in existence.

"I wonder what is up with this meeting." Barney yucked.

"I don't know, but I do now something." Thomas The Dank Engine said. "We need more train tracks in this place, it gets harder and harder for me to get around. I mean, what if we had to go on an epic quest to get our cancelled show back."

"Don't be a fucking moron." Gary meowed. "That's not going to happen, fucking cunt." Soon, Bob floated into the room, face contorted in rage.

"YOUR SHOWS ARE ALL CANCELLED!" He roared. "Too sexual, too inappropriate, too stupid, too… REAL!"

"So I guess you all forgot about me." Mr. Potatohead from Toy Story yelled, walking into the room. "I was stuck in one of Mrs. Potatohead's holes." Bob went on as if Mr. Potatohead hadn't entered the room.

"You're all fired!" He roared. "Get out of my studio! The Wankerville Television Station can do better than all of you. Get out of my sight!"

"But what am I supposed to do?" Thomas The Dank Engine whined. "I have to use railroad tracks to get around! How do I survive out in the world?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Bob roared. "You figure it out. Just crucify one of your friends on a railroad track if you want, just GET OUT OF MY STUDIO!" All the characters nodded sadly and walked out of the studio, sadness weighing down their hearts. Once they got outside, The Yellow Tellatubee fell to the ground and started sobbing, limbs flailing around.

"What's wrong?" Barney asked urgently. The Yellow Tellatubee started spouting gibberish. Daryl walked up to it, crossbow drawn.

"I'll just put it out of its misery." Daryl said, and shot it in the head. The Yellow Tellatubee's screams ended in an instant. The rest of them went on with their business as if nothing ever happened.

"What are we going to do about me?" Thomas The Dank Engine whined. "I don't have any tracks; I can't go anywhere!"

"I've got an idea." Dora said. A few seconds later, the group had nailed a set of train tracks onto Piglet's back, essentially crucifying him.

"We did it!" Dora squealed happily. "¡Lo hicimos!" Piglet, somehow, was still alive after this process. He could now carry Thomas The Dank Engine like a slave! Isn't solving problems fun, kids? Anyway, the group threw Thomas on top of Piglet's back and, though physics would dictate it impossible, he stayed on and Piglet could carry him around like a lowly pack mule.

"So." Gary meowed. "What are we gonna do about or cancellation?"

"What are we gonna do about it?" Mr. Potatohead spat. "What we're gonna do is go on an epic adventure to get back to the station and fight Bob to the death so we can get our fucking shows back!"

"Why would we need to go on an epic adventure?" Daryl asked.

"Because we're miles away from the station." Mr. Potatohead answered. "And to get back, we have to be merciless killing machines or we'll be killed." Daryl merely brushed of Mr. Potatohead's response.

"Yeah right." He laughed. "We're not miles away from the station, we just left. We're right outside its entrance. He turned around only to see the station as a tiny speck in the distance, hundreds of miles spanning the distance of them to the station.

"Wait, what?" Daryl sputtered. "How… what… why… when…?"

"Don't question it." Mr. Potatohead answered. "You should just take these things as they come. Your sanity will last longer if you do." Daryl stilled stared into the distance, mouth gaping.

"It's going to be a long trip, doc." Bugz Bunny said.

"How many of us do you think will die?" Timmy Turner asked.

"Most of us, if I were to guess." Snoop Dawg answered.

"It doesn't matter." Tommy said. "We can't think about that now. We just have to keep going." And with that, their adventure truly began.

Chapter 2:

4 trials awaited our highly sexual "heroes" on their way to kill Bob, The Sentient Prison Shank. First, they would have to get through the massive ocean of ravenous fans; all of them cosplaying. Absolutely terrifying. Next, they would have to travel through the island of scrapped characters, the island filled with characters that I wanted to put in these stories, but never did. The third trial would be the battle with Leafyishere, the internet's worst cyberbully. Worse than Hitler at this point, really. The final challenge for the group would be the doorman of the studio, Weejee; he was broke and homeless after X abandoning him a year prior. Only when they got past those four challenges would they be able to face off against Bob, the sentient prison shank.

"So, we've got the plan." Bugz Bunny droned. "The only question is who will survive up to the studio. Knowing what we're going up against, we're probably not all going to live."

"So we have to decide who's expendable." Barney yucked. "I vote we kill off Steve first. How could he be useful to us anyway?"

"There's a clue!" Steve cried suddenly, pointing at some footprints; turning to the reader after a few seconds. "We should follow them!" He started following the footprints as the others watched on in confusion. Dora also turned towards the reader after a few seconds of silence.

"Which direction is he going?" She asked loudly followed by a few seconds of silence. "Si, he's going north! Let's go after him, chicos!" She started chasing after Steve. Neither of them were ever seen again.

"Should we go after them?" Timmy Turner asked.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tommy cried. "Of course not! We have a job to do." After a few minutes of debate, they remaining survivors decided to start towards the studio and their revenge. They reached the edge of the psycho fan ocean after a few hours, horrified by the seething mass. Timmy Turner bent down to get a better look, only to have dozens of hands grab him and drag him into the ocean. Barney cried in horror as Timmy's skull was thrown out of the ocean, gleaming a pure white. The cosplaying fans had stripped all skin and muscle until only bone was left.

"Shit…" Daryl whispered. "How have so many of us died already? We're not even past the first obstacle." Snoop Dawg put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay." He soothed Daryl. "Just think of it this way, now the author will have an easier time, not having to keep track of so many characters."

"You're right." Daryl sighed. "We can't have past death hold us back from the future. We have a job to do."

"That wasn't what I was saying at all." Snoop Dawg said in a soothing voice. "But it doesn't really matter if it gets you to keep going." Daryl pulled out his crossbow.

"Anyone have some rope?" He demanded.

"I do." Piglet croaked, almost crushed under the weight of Thomas The Dank Engine.

"Yeah!" Thomas chipped in. "We use it when we do bondage! Always useful to have a little rope around for emergencies." Shuddering slightly, Daryl got the rope from Piglet and tied it tightly to a crossbow bolt, and the other side to a nearby tree. He then took aim at another tree that just happened to be at the other side of the ocean, and took the shot. The bolt lodged tightly into the tree, causing the rope to become a makeshift bridge over the ocean.

"Let's go." Daryl commanded. "Over the ocean, we've got this, guys!" In order of who went over the bridge, Snoop Dawg, Daryl, Piglet with Thomas The Dank Engine, Barney The Dinosaur, Gary The Snail, Bugz Bunny, and Tommy crossed the rope to the other side. Everyone but Tommy made it over the bridge fine, as the fans created a wave and snatched Tommy off the rope. Just as Timmy Turner had, Tommy died by the hands of his psychotic fans. Barney fell to his knees at the sight of Tommy's death, tears slowly dripping from his eyes.

"Why do they die so young!?" He cried. "WHY!?" Daryl forced him to his feet and pointed to the studio in the distance.

"Forget about him." Daryl ordered. "Our only plan is to get to the studio. We can't stop and mourn!" Barney sniffed and nodded slowly.

"Of course." He yucked. "I'm sorry. I'll keep my cool from now on, I promise." The group turned toward the island of scrapped characters, their next challenge.

 _-What will happen? Will our heroes survive the island of scrapped characters? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z… I mean The Holy Fanfiction 2: Electric Boogaloo!-_

Chapter 3:

The mist surrounding the island of scrapped characters was so thick that the heroes couldn't see three feet in front of them. Piglet struggled more and more with carrying Thomas The Dank Engine. His small stature was being crushed under Thomas' incredible strength, but the power of the boner kept him going. Anyway, the mist seemed to get thinner the further into the island they got. At last, the mist had subsided completely. The group was horrified when they saw dozens of characters sitting in cardboard boxes on a sandy island.

"Fucking hell…" Bugz Bunny droned. "This is fucked up." A man in a white coat stood up from his box and walked over to the character. His hair was orange and he was seemed to be wearing makeup.

"Help us." The man croaked. "My name is Roman Torchwick. We're all trapped here on the island of scrapped characters. We're all starving and dehydrated, but we're not allowed to die." He suddenly collapsed to the ground, sparks flying from his body. He was being electrocuted.

"I'm sorry, strangers." He panted after the electrocution ended. "You have no reason to help us, but I unfortunately have to tell you that you cannot leave this island once you enter it. Just like the rest us, you are trapped in the island of scrapped characters." Gary's jaw dropped.

"What!?" He meowed. "What do you mean we're trapped? We weren't scrapped from the story!"

"The guardian." Roman hissed. "He keeps everything that stumbles upon this island as his own. None can defeat him, he is too powerful." Daryl clenched his fists and punched a nearby coconut tree.

"No!" He cried. "That's fucking bullshit! We can't have gone this far just to be trapped in this hellhole! We can't!" Snoop Dawg pointed to a large wood house that was situated nearby.

"Is that where the guardian lives?" He asked. Roman nodded, eyes blank.

"Yes." He answered. "He has the house to himself, leaving the rest of us to suffer out here."

"We have a guardian to meet." Daryl spat. They thanked Roman and started walking towards the large house.

"We're not going to be trapped here." Daryl spat. "The second I see the guardian, my fist is going straight into his face." Daryl threw the door open and stormed into the house. The entryway had a long staircase with a large figure at the top. Barney suddenly fell to his knees, gasping for air. The figure at the top of the stairs was staring right at him.

"I will not…" Barney choked. "I will not let you attempt to kill my lord." He stood up, his eyes now glassy.

"What are you doing, man?" Snoop Dawg asked as Barney started shuffling towards him. Barney suddenly lunged forward and tackled Snoop Dawg to the ground, attempting to rip him apart, but Snoop Dawg was using all his strength to fend him off. Not wasting a moment, Daryl loaded his crossbow and put a bolt through Barney's brain. Snoop Dawg struggled to push Barney's corpse off of him before standing up.

"Dammit…" He whispered. "Why does everyone keep dying?" Suddenly, candles that lined the stairway lit themselves one by one. The light revealed the figure at the top of the stairway. The figure had a massive musclebound torso on top of strangely legs. The man's hair was yellow and his eyes red.

"You killed the strange purple creature." The man hissed, revealing impossibly sharp canine teeth. "He had the weakest will of you all, so I took what I could get. You have killed my slave but now you must face I, Dio!" The man the group now knew as Dio suddenly appeared in front of Bugz Bunny and stuck his fingers inside the rabbit's neck. He was drinking the blood of Bugz Bunny.

"You should feel grateful." Dio laughed. "For you will be known as one who was used as food by I, Dio!" Bugz Bunny's corpse dropped to the ground, blood drained. Annoyance flooded through Dio and a bolt buried itself into the back of his head. He tore the bolt out and turned to Daryl who had his crossbow pointed towards him.

"Human creations cannot hope to kill me." Dio laughed. "You are not Hamon users, so you are nothing to me." He then noticed that Snoop Dawg, Gary, and Piglet were gone.

"You give humans too little credit." Daryl spat. "We make some pretty damn good plans." Dio found it strange that Daryl worded what he said the way he did. His answer came in the form of a shout from behind him.

"Hamon Overdrive!" A fist burst through Dio's chest, Hamon sparking from it. Dio fell to his knees, and then to his chest. He was killed by Hamon Overdrive. Behind Dio's corpse was an impossibly buff young man with brown hair.

"Thanks." Daryl said. "But I don't think I got your name." The young man did a stupid looking pose before responding.

"I am Joseph Joestar!" He stated. Snoop Dawg, Gary, and Piglet, still carrying Thomas The Dank Engine walked into the entryway.

"So, you're a scrapped character?" Daryl asked Joseph as they walked out of the house.

"No." Joseph responded. "I'm supposed to be a character, it's canon that I help you after Dio dies, so I guess I'm traveling with you to kill Bob." The four other members of the group didn't question Joseph at all, strangely. They merely went forth to fight Leafyishere, the second to last obstacle in their way.

/ |

/ -|

/ To Be |

Continued |

\ (Insert Roundabout here) |

\ -|

\ |

Chapter 4:

Two more trials awaited the "heroes", the studio was so close. After leaving the island of scrapped characters (Don't worry about how, just put it in the pile of plot points that I never explain) the group found themselves in a long hallway, a massive green rock in the middle. Daryl slowly walked up the the rock, and lightly nudged it with his crossbow. The rock started then to unfold, revealing a massive lizard with a human head. The creature had blunts in its nostrils and was wearing an obey hat. The face seemed to be that of a young human man.

"Leafyishere?" Daryl asked cautiously. "That you?"

"Yes." Leafy responded. "What the hell are you doing here?" Joseph walked up beside Daryl, cracking his knuckles.

"I'm sorry, but we have to kill you." Daryl said. "We have to get to the studio to get our shows back." Leafy sighed.

"I've heard that I had to kill a group." He told Daryl. "Though I was told it was bigger. So, I guess this is where we fight to the death." He rose to his feet and immediately ran past Daryl and Joseph, knocking them against the two sides of the hallway. He grabbed Gary who sat at the end of the hallway and crushed him between two fingers.

"Oh, shit!" Snoop Dawg cried. "He just killed Gary!" Leafy then turned his attention back to Daryl and Joseph.

"He was the weakest." Leafy explained. "It only made sense to kill him first." Daryl immediately loaded a bolt into his crossbow and fired it into Leafy's eye.

"Shit!" Leafy cried. "What the hell, man!?" Joseph ran up to him and jumped into the air.

"Hamon Overdrive!" He roared, before slamming his Hamon charged fist into Leafy's face. Leafy stumbled back, face melting from the Hamon. He quickly fell to his knees, holding his face.

"I guess I just got roasted." He coughed. "I'm fine with death at this point. The things I've seen on Youtube have broken me beyond repair, so I have one last request. End my suffering." Joseph raised his fist in the air before being blasted away. Leafy's body started glitching out for a few moments before it was replaced by something horrifying. It was replaced by Poodlecorp.

"hacked by /poodlecorp" Poodlecorp droned. He rose to his feet and started electrocuting his body. It didn't hurt him, but anyone that tried to attack him straight on would be rekt.

"My Hamon Overdrive would be useless." Joseph told Daryl. "I would be killed on contact! #Clarity!" Poodlecorp threw his arm down, trying to kill Snoop Dawg, but Snoop Dawg was prepared. He pulled out a massive blunt of not only weed, but LSD as well. He lit the end and started sucking in the lung raping smoke, his eyes soon turning rainbow colors. Poodlecorp's arm was severed the second it hit the high Snoop Dawg, sending purple blood shooting everywhere. Snoop Dawg rose into the air and started dancing, sending out a massive shockwave of death that somehow didn't hurt any of his allies. Dubstep started blaring for some reason and bright lights started shooting across the hallway. Soon, memes started appearing in random places, their volume almost as loud as the dubstep. The lights and memes were knocking Poodlecorp everywhere, beating the ever living shit out of him. By the end of the drug induced rave, Poodlecorp was merely a puddle of purple blood, as the power of the weed is greater than the power of the hacker. Snoop Dawg descended to the ground, back to normal. Once again, hardcore drugs along with memes saved his life and career. Daryl and Joseph as well as Piglet carrying Thomas The Dank Engine walked over to Snoop Dawg.

"What the fuck did you just do?" Thomas demanded, bewildered. "That was… amazing!"

"It was my secret final attack." Snoop Dawg responded. "It was also my only attack, so I'm defenseless now." Daryl nodded, and turned to see a door at the end of the long hall had opened.

"I guess we can go now." He told the others. "The only thing in our way now is Weejee, and I know we'll have to be careful. He worked with X to destroy this universe, but we have to win!" Piglet, Thomas The Dank Engine, Snoop Dawg, and Joseph cheered and they all ran to the door at the end of the hallway.

The doorway led to the entrance of the studio, their final destination. In front of the door stood Weejee, green hat flapping in the wind.

"You've made it." He growled, his voice low, demonic, and italian. "I was hoping you'd survive to fight me. I wanted something to do, you see, and I now have it." Horns grew from his head and a pitchfork appeared in his hand. The landscape cracked, fire and magma firing into the air.

"You will now face the true demon of the internet!" Weejee roared. He lunged forward with his pitchfork, just missing Piglet by less than an inch. Joseph ran up and struck Weejee in the arm with Hamon. The punch left an indentation, but no hamon. Weejee stumbled back and growled in frustration.

"How dare you?" He hissed. "How dare you damage a demon?" He slammed the head of the pitchfork into the ground, creating a shockwave that rippled outward, knocking the group to the ground. He walked up to Daryl, pitchfork raised.

"You're their leader, are you not?" He growled. "If I kill you, they'll all follow."

"Weejee." A deep voice sounded from behind. A figure in a brown cloak stood behind Weejee, black and purple sword in hand.

"You!" Weejee hissed. "You're the reason I'm in this situation! You and your friends killed X!" The figure started laughing.

"They were far from my friends. They were liabilities." He lunged forward, sword's blade bursting into flames. Weejee turned quickly and blocked the sword strike with his pitchfork. The collision sent out a burst of wind, knocking the figure's cloak off. The man under the cloak was known by many names; The hero of darkness, savior of dimensions, some even called him death. It was hard to find any that called him by his preferred name. Massfire. Both he and Weejee pulled back their weapons, glaring at each other.

"Massfire…" Daryl whispered. "The savior of our universe. He's come back." Without a single word, Massfire disappeared in a puff of smoke. Weejee looked around frantically. Weejee was actually afraid of Massfire. A smile grew on Snoop Dawg's lips when he saw Massfire reappear on the studio roof, right above Weejee. Unfortunately, Weejee saw it too. As Massfire jumped down, Weejee pointed his pitchfork up, ready to have Massfire fall and get impaled on the spikes. Did I say his seeing Massfire was unfortunate? Sorry, I meant it was fortunate, as Massfire quickly teleported away just before he hit Weejee's pitchfork and reappeared behind him, slashing his sword through his spine. Weejee gasped and coughed, blood pouring out of his mouth.

"You…" He choked. "You pathetic worm. I was supposed to have a major appearance in this story! Why do others always have to take my spotlight?! Why do you do this to me, Wr…" He suddenly spontaneously combusted, cutting him off.

"Typical." Massfire spat, turning away from the burning corpse of Weejee. He started walking away from the others, turning towards the door to the studio.

"You're Massfire." Piglet wheezed under the crushing weight of Thomas the Dank Engine. "You fended off the destroyer of the universe a year ago… You've come back." As if seeing them for the first time, Massfire turned to the group.

"I expected that's where I was." He sighed. "I was hoping I'd never have to step back here again." He started judging the group from how they looked, inspecting every bit of them.

"You're just as bad as the others." He growled. "I know you're going to follow me no matter what I say, so you can come into the station with me. I could use a few meatshields anyway." The group decided to not pay attention to what he said, and followed him into the station. Bob, the sentient prison shank, awaited within.

Chapter 5:

Bob, the sentient prison floated in the middle of the infinity symbol written in hyper-realistic blood, because pointless callback to the previous story is pointless. Corpses of his previous employees lay strewn all of the floor, throats slit.

"Bring the destroyer back to our world…" Bob chanted. "Bring the destroyer back to our world…" Massfire and the others walked into the room, taking in the not as horrific as it should be seen. Bob, the sentient prison shank, turned to them. His eyes were pure white.

"Send the destroyer to purify this chaotic reality." The infinity symbol started glowing, and blood started shooting out from within. Once the ritual was over, a leaf fell from the sky. I walked into the room from the side door.

"Why did you even do the ritual?" I asked Bob, the sentient prison shank. "I'm the creator, not a demon. You just wasted a perfectly good blood ritual." A smile grew on Massfire's face.

"We meet for the third time." He laughed. "So where is he, Wrath? Where's Fate?" I looked over at him and the rest of the group. They looked fucking ridiculous.

"He's off in his own dimension." I responded. "I only needed him to take care of you because the rest of them were there as well. I don't need you now." They started walking towards me, Massfire's sword bursting into flames. I glanced down and made a small puddle of water appear in front of Piglet, causing him to slip. Daryl and Snoop Dawg gasped as Piglet slipped on the water and fell to the ground, Thomas the Dank Engine falling after him. Thomas the Dank Engine crushed Piglet on impact. Silence filled the room, and Bob, the sentient prison shank floated over to the others while they were distracted. The only one that ignored what was happening and continued walking towards me was Massfire. Bob, the sentient prison shank slit the throat of Snoop Dawg as he was distracted, killing him instantly. Joseph Joestar turned to Bob, the sentient prison shank, a look of fury of face.

"You killed them!" He cried. "Hamon Overdrive." He charged Hamon and punched Bob, the sentinet prison shank, killing Bob, the sentient prison shank instantly. Nobody noticed my charging the instant death magic in the palms of my hands, not even Massfire, who was still walking towards me. Once one of them was finished charging, I shot it at Joseph Joestar, wiping him from existence. I continued charging the other one in my other hand, but Daryl seemed to notice and shot a bolt throuh my hand. I yanked the bolt out and teleported behind him, snapping his neck. Massfire started looking around, confused, but I didn't need to worry about him anymore.

"I think I'll be taking my leave." I laughed. "Since this is a sequel to a trilogy, this story needs to end in an anticlimax that does nothing but set up the overly convoluted third!" Massfire clenched his fists.

"When the time comes." He growled. "I'll fucking kill you, Wrath. I'll make you regret killing all the ones I love." I disappeared from the room, laughing. Bob, the sentient prison shank may have failed me, but my next plan wouldn't. I was about to begin plan WM...

End of The Holy Fanfiction 2: Electric Boogaloo...


End file.
